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Sunday, June 13, 2010

A much needed update, i'm aware. You know how I said i was soooo hyper for a few days? well that definitely wore off, and now i'm just too lazy to do anything...including updating this blog. But i miss it, and even if i'm not updating, i'm still reading everyone's, so I just want to say how proud of you all I am! You're doing so great!

Well I feel like I've been on the worlds longest period this month. Its seriously been like a month straight. Jeeze. So i've stayed bloated and the last two days were those two days where you just cant stop eating. You all know what i'm talking about? I feel like most people have a few days during their period where no matter how much you eat you still feel like youre starving? I hope so, I know I definitely do. So instead of my one day off, I kinda took a weekend off. But i'm back on track now and feel much better!

Ok so yesterday I had some friends over to watch the USA vs. England world cup game. One of the guys that came over was one of my best guy friends from high school. This guy and I, well, I can't say we ever really had a history per say but there was definitely always something there. When we met sophomore year, I was already dating my douchebag ex boyfriend--whom i will call nick--but this guy, evan, and I instantly became really close. Now i've never really told you about my relationship with nick, but to sum it all up, it was just very bad. I dated him for about 3 years, but he was incredibly emotionally abusive (which I couldn't realize at the time because I was so depressed and basically brainwashed) and i confided all of my pain in evan. And I always thought evan was cute, and I always was pretty sure he liked me too. Well when nick and I finally "broke up" my senior year (and let me just tell you, even though we were broken up, nick still controlled my entire life basically) i was kinda hoping to start something with evan. Well at this point, however, he had gotten a girlfriend whom he was SOO in love with, so nothing ever happened.

Well we stayed friends, and he started texting me a few days ago, which is fine, but i just feel like something is different. He's broken up with his girlfriend, but hes still so in love with her and wants her back. Like I said, evan and I always shared everything with each other, so I guess this shouldn't be that weird, but his texts are all flirty. Like every single one pretty much revolved around what i had done in college--sex and drinking wise and stuff. Then he tells me how much he misses his gf and everything, but hes still flirting with me. But THEN, he comes over to my house, brings another girl I know, and is over the top flirting with her...and she also has a really serious boyfriend. I don't know what to do, I mean, I'm positive that I don't like evan anymore, but I'm not sure if keeping him around as a friend is a great choice either. I just wonder if he's still just trying to be as close as we once were, or is trying to hook up with me as a "rebound girl" kind of thing. I don't know, I guess it's not really a big deal or anything, but I was just curious to see what you all think and to let you know more about whats going on in my life.

OK well hopefully I should be finished with this bloating tomorrow, so i'll weigh myself then and let you all know my progress! *fingers crossed* have a lovely day, and think you all for all the support on my last post! I took down the pictures just to make myself feel a little better, but it feels so good to have your alls love behind me!

1 comment:

  1. Wow girl you've been through a lot! I couldn't imagine having a BF who was so controlling. Glad you ended that one!! But seriously... i know this sounds creepy but basically how you described Evan is basically exactly what happened with my friend I was drunkenly flipping out about last night haha, give or take a few details. But it sounds about the same, you want this person as a friend, possibly more, but you don't know if all they want is sex, and then you don't want to put your friendship on the line to figure it out, or get yourself hurt in the process, so you keep your distance, but always wonder what possibly could come of it, then you hang out and you realize why you like this guy sooo much, but then ( in my case ) realize that it will never work out and that you are better off just being friends and not super close, because hanging out will just bring up past feelings and things can't be that way anymore... *sigh* well that's my story at least lol But yours is also differnt in the fact that you don't actually have a BF right now. But just be careful, if he's always hitting on other girls and stuff ( I mean that could be his personality ) he probably is just in it for one thing... then again! you seem to know him very well so I would just use your common sense, and brain when you figure out what you want to do about it lol
    But good luck! I know how confusing shit gets...believeee me.

    And my B-day is July 14th :] so we're like super close in age thats funny haha and yup! the babys of the grade! At least we are during the summer though. My sis's b-day is November 14th so she is like THE baby of her class haha

    And yeah, that does sound like a lot of money :/ BUT TOTALLY WORTH IT haha I have to pay rent on my apartment this year, and its only like 330 a month... but that's where all my money is going.. so I doubt I will b able to save enough BUT I can always try! :]
    God thats like my dreammmm to do that!

    And I know this is a HUGE longshot lol but I was thinking of even going there for like college Graduation haha. OH and if we go to Lauris... You are meeting my friend Clement, recently found him on facebook he is SEXXXXY now uhh, I mean we might have to hook you up with this French Boy? hahaha

    Check out these sites, it shows a little bit about it, although NOTHING compares to being there :]

    <3 Lilah