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Friday, September 23, 2011

my life is a joke

ok so school is killing me. I've started nursing, and all i do is study. 24/7 i study. i wake up and study before class, i go to class and talk about what ive studied, i come home from class and i study until 11:30, then i go to bed and do it again the next day. the past two weekends, i've stayed in and studied. gahhhhh i better be a freaking genius in 2 years!

I do love it though. it's so interesting and i love all the girls in my class, so i can't complain too much. it's just so incredibly time consuming.

In lab last week, we had to take vital signs on each other, and had to take each other's weight. I cant remember which, but the scale said either 132 or 134. I think it was 132 honestly. Either way, it's an increase and i dont like it. time to do something about it before it gets out of control.

L is reading a new book on nutrition...considering that is, after all, his favorite thing in the world. He said it talks about how bad animal protein actually is for you, and how we should be getting 95% of our protein from beans/nuts/legumes instead. Idk how much to believe it, but i figured i would somewhat go with it for a week or so just to see if it made any difference, so as of last tuesday, i'm on a vegetarian diet. This is by no means a permanent thing, and i definitely didnt give up dairy products or deserts, so take all of this with a grain of salt. Basically all i've done is substitute beans in for meat. Havent noticed any difference so far and really didnt expect to, so hey, whatever.

On my ungodly bloated right now. gahhh its sickening. i feel like a tick about to pop....cant wait for this to be over.

on to other things...L and i are hanging out every single day again and our friendship couldnt be better. I use the word friendship lightly, because if i'm being honest, i should really just say "our unofficial relationship." we've been trying the friends only thing...and it works pretty well 99% of the just doesnt work when we both get shitty drunk and end up making out every time. Which also leads to me spending the night in his room.....cuddling. even sober, weve cuddled and slept together. one day two weeks ago? he stayed in my room (CJ was at her boyfriend's house) and we stayed up and talked until 4 am.

OH. AND HE DROPPED THE L WORD. thats right. not talking about his name...i'm talking about "love." we were drunk when it happened...but it wasnt just drunken rambling. we were in some very deep conversation, and what he said was absolutely honest and true. Plus, a few days before, we had (soberly) talked about the concept of love and he basically did everything but say those three little words outright. it meant so much to me, and i'm pretty sure i ended up crying, but i havent brought it up to him since. using that word is a HUGE deal for him and he's never said it to anyone else before, and claims that he only wants to say it to one girl for his whole i'm not gonna take that lightly.

anyway, i feel like im playing with fire here. once again, i know i shouldnt be with him, but i do genuinely LOVE him, and i cant stop. nothing can stop it...not back problems or herpes or anything else. We've had that talk too....and although some hook ups have been hot and heavy, we've been EXTREMELY careful. i mean, trust me, theres 0% that i could have gotten anything. still, i know i need to stop, just to be safe.

ok well, i guess thats all for now. forgive my lack of posting...its hard to find time around all the studying lol love you beauties