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Monday, September 10, 2012

Wtf is wrong with me?

Well, i've lost all control. Every. Single. Ounce.

Just looked at my last post, and I was 126.4? Fuck you, former self. I'm now back up to around 135. I feel fat and huge and disgusting and like a whale. Of course, I am on my period, so i'm super bloated, but even when I'm not on my period, it's still obvious that I've gained quite a bit back. All that work for nothing. That's what makes me so mad about this.

I have no excuse either. I have exercised ZERO, and I am eating like a cow. I mean, today I've eaten:

A bowl of special K cereal with skim milk
Chick-fil-a Bacon egg and cheese biscuit
about 4 ketchup packets (you may be laughing, but that's like 60 calories, at least!)
a handful of almonds and craisins
a fun sized package of M&Ms
A blowpop
a glass of juice

Oh, btw, have I mentioned that it's only 4:30, and still haven't eaten dinner?? I mean really, I know I'm having the menstrual cravings, but that is just disgusting.

I want a tattoo so bad. Well, a couple of them actually. I want them on my ribs, but every time I look in the mirror, I see rolls of fat staring back at me. No way I can get one when I look like this.

I'm asking my friend to burn me the copy of insanity that he has. I'm going to hate every single fucking second of it, but I dont care. I'm gonna do it. It's the fastest way to lose weight by exercise that I know of, and I'm gonna do it. I want to see a huge difference in just two months time.

I'm gonna start starving again too. No, not actually starving. But I'm gonna stay around 1,000 cals per day. Water only to drink. No excuses.