liquid fast ain't goin so fast...

ok, first liquid fast. Got up and went to church this morning. At my church, they have a huge table of free mini donuts and milk/orange juice for everyone to have, which is nice...unless you're like us and hate teh irony of being tempted in church :)

so i psyched myself up the whole way there. "frenzy, you don't need any donuts. they're not even that great, and they have tonssss of calories. Just resist. It's not like they're gourmet donuts or krispy kremes or anything. Stay strong, you can do it."

Well I get to church and guess what? yup. They--for the first sunday I have ever witnessed in the past 4 or so years that they've had this table of donuts--had several dozen of krispy kreme donuts. OF COURSE THEY DID!

What would you have done? Well, my first instinct was to go grab one or two, tell myself how I can work it off later and promise myself that I wouldnt eat a single bite the rest of the day, but then that little voice popped back into my head and said, And I quote,

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH FUCKING RIGHT!"

And i knew it was true, so I resisted! And it felt sooo good afterwards! So I get home, sit on the couch, my dad and sister make these amazing looking sandwichs for lunch and have chips with them...my mouth was watering so much, but again, I didn't give in!

You ever notice though that when you won't allow yourself food, you just want it that much more and it becomes all you think about? It's not that you're even hungry...iut's just wanting what you can't have I guess. Well, I kept thinking about food obsessively, and it got really really annoying, so I went and took a nap.

Just woke up a few minutes ago, went out to the kitchen, and my mom says "hey I brought you home a piece of cake from work!"

What is this shit?! Torture Frenzy day?! It was good cake too with mandarin oranges and pinapple. Ok, i'll be honest, I took one bite. But, i had only had one glass of milk today, and I put it back in the fridge. So I kinda screwed up, but not really. Sorry lilah dear...i'll do like 100 crunches to burn it off lol but, i'm totally set to resist the china buffet tonight. I'm going with the whole "my stomach is really hurting today, so i'll just meet you all at teh movie" thing. It will work. And I hate popcorn, so resisting in the movie will be easy, then when i get out it will be close to midnight :D

Scale said 142 today, with all of my clothes on and after I had had the cake, so i'm very excited to see what it says tomorrow morning!

You know, this liquid fast hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. I'm thinking I might take lilah up on that whole liquid fast every sunday thing. it will be good too, since my free day is usually on friday or saturday and I end the day feeling like a cow.


ok, long post, have to keep my mind off things. Love you all, and remember, every single goal is in reach, just be strong and patient!