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Sunday, July 25, 2010

hiding out

my calorie intake in the last 24 hours is through the roof. there is absolutely nothing else I can say.

I went to a party last night and got wasted, as always. about 4 games of beer pong + one huge mixed drink with wiskey + 3 shots of wiskey + 3 jello shots= one drunken frenzy.
So much fun though. AND I resisted the urge to make-out with this guy who was completely flirting with me the whole night. Is it sad that i'm proud of myself for that? I don't give a flying fuck. I'm just doing whatever makes me happy. Plain and simple.

Anyway, last night, somewhere between stumbling around this house covered in glow in the dark paint and making friends with this random guy who brought a fucking didgeridoo to this party....i got the hiccups. badly. damn beer. so after like a half hour of dealing with this i decided i'd had more than enough. I had to do something to make them go away. I looked like an ass. Anyway, my solution? Go make myself throw-up. Now, here's my logic (and yes, i WAS actually talented enough to think my way through this while I couldn't even walk a straight line) Hiccups are a spasm of the diaphragm. Caused by an excess of alcohol in my system. if i throw up, not only would I be getting the alcohol out, but I would put enormous pressure on my diaphragm so it would shock it into quitting. Sounds plausible, right? Went to the bathroom, and tried for like 10 minutes to throw up. Like I stuck my fingers so far down my throat I swear I felt my stomach (exaggeration, of course.) And I gagged a few times, but nothing else. I seriously can NOT make myself throw up. plus, I figured "i'm so drunk, this won't even feel bad. And goodbye calories." wow, the inner thoughts of an alcoholic. pure poetry. Anyways, nothing. I am literally incapable of purging. God forbid I ever accidentally swallow poison or something, cause that shit wont be coming up.

So this morning, my friend wakes me up and wants to go to qdoba for a breakfast burrito. Anyone who has ever been drunk knows how good the breakfast the next morning is (sans hangover, of course. But oh, i'm just fortunate enough to never get those) completely enjoyed every delicious bite of that fattening burrito....until it was gone than I hated myself. fuck you, delicious food, fuck you.

Long story short, i'm taking today as a free day (and considering last night's binge as part of that.) family--well, mostly my mother--is trying to decide whether or not to go to the lake for the next 2 days or not. Mom is getting more or more frustrated that she can't decide, so i'm hiding out in my room right now in a feeble attempt to avoid the inevitable explosion that is my mother's rage. Somehow it will all be my fault too. I love living at home.

Dear college,
My second year of freedom in your comforting dorms in exactly one month away. I've missed you so much...I think about you every day and it kills me to be apart from you for so long. I look so forward to the smile that will cross my face the moment I see you again. Time cannot move quickly enough. I think I should move in.
My most sincere love,

dear god i think i may still be drunk. I'm gonna go before I act any more like a freak. love you ladies, keep losing!

1 comment:

  1. Those nights are always fun:)
    Try to never regret those kind of nights. We all starve and restrict because we want to be skinny because skinny=happiness, yes? Well, drunk also =happiness so enjoy:)
    Be Happy!