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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

fourth of july. oh beautiful, patriotic, calorie-ridden fourth of july. So, when I started this whole diet/restriction thing, i made myself a little compromise if you will. I will stick to 1000 cals or less a day, but weekends, holidays, and vacations are free. Well, fourth of july just happened to include all 3 of those things for me. Needless to say...I went overboard. Biscuits, gravy, bacon, eggs, burgers, chicken, funnel cakes, brownies, cookies, name it, I ate it this weekend. And dear lord did it feel wonderful. I mean, it still felt weird to be full, but for one weekend out of the last year or so, I finally just said, "fuck it. I don't care. I'm going to do and eat whatever makes me happy this weekend." So I did, and I don't regret it at all. Plus, the wonderful lilah lee and I decided that we we're just being know, celebrating our country's prosperity and the fact that we are blessed enough to have so much wonderful food to eat. hahaha whatever.

But weight loss. Hmmm....we'll i think I actually look thinner. I feel thinner, thats for sure. It makes no sense, but hey, i've never claimed to make sense. I think a huge part of it is that I fixed my tan lines. As any competitive swimmer knows, the Speedo tan is inevitable during the summer, and the shape of it just makes you look so awkward...white stomach, tan legs, perfect tan line around the hip...i don't know.

But I evened it all out this weekend, and I think just being tan actually makes me look thinner. I hope at least. Got on the scale last night and it said 144. Now I should say, i've been hovering around 142 that wasn't so horrible. Woke up this morning, stepped on, it said 140. WTF. I give up on this damn scale. I think i'm back at 144 now. I swear...i need to not be so cheap so I will buy a real accurate scale. Balls... I'll just prefer to think im 140 :)

Swim meet again tonight. Last home meet EVER for me. Oh as much as I loath swimming i'm sure to bawl my eyes out tonight....then replace that depression with a large plate of spaghetti. And bread. Hello carbs, i see that we've become besties lately, but I must say, I feel that we should go our separate ways soon.

I'm weird today, I know. I don't know whats going on with me. they crazy dreams have been continuing. Last night I dreamt that one of my friends found out about my blog, and I freaked. In my sleep. Also dreamt about nick some more (hell) then followed that up with a very detailed love story occurring between me and Prince Harry of England, all set in beautiful Paris, France.

I don't know what kind of drugs have been slipped to me lately, but I somewhat like them. :) ok, must go now, promise for more crazy updates soon. love love love!

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