sorry about this guys.

i know i promised no more depressing posts, but i just need some advice from you all. i'm really upset, i've been crying for a little while and i dont know what to do.

today is bad. it's the whole CJ thing. well, and a little bit of L too, i guess, but not so much.

ok, so L never texted me yesterday. yeah, ok, so i really liked him and had a good time the other night and was hoping that he would text me, but honestly, i'll be just fine if nothing happens between us either. it doesn't bother me if it turns out to just be a random hook-up. anyway, i texted CJ today and asked her if we were still going to lunch today, and she was like "yeah, if you want to. i think L is gonna be there too."
i thought that was a little strange because it wouldn't matter to me if he was there or not. i was like "ok, well thats fine. it it alright if ashley comes too?" (ashley is my roommate, by the way.) and she responded with "yeah, it may just be kind of hard to find seats though because we usually just get a table for the 3 of us." (the three being CJ, L, and another girl who is good friends with CJ and whom i've never really though particularly cared for me.)

i just kinda got the feeling that she didnt really want us there, but i just decided to go anyway. When we got there, she basically didnt say anything to me, and L didn't either. it was really awkward. Ashley and i got our lunch and ate everything before she and L even got through line and got a chance to sit down, and ashley had to go to work, so i just left with her. ashley agreed, things were really awkward, and i didnt want to wait through the torture of sitting there while L and CJ just ate and ignored me.

i'm just really upset. As you all know, things were kinda strange between CJ and I before this whole L situation, but for some reason now i think that made everything worse, and i jsut don't know why. like i said, i dont care about the whole L situation. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, and i would never put any boy before CJ. she's my best friend. she's the reason i love school so much. i dont know if i'm just reading everything the wrong way, but i just think that ever since i told her yesterday that i liked L, things got bad. And theres no reason for that, because she doesn't like L. shes basically dating that frat guy, and she's told me before that she and L are just best friends, and would never date. And trust me, CJ would never lie about something like that, plus she told me before she had ANY clue that i liked him.

i'm probably overreacting, and i know i should just talk to her about this, but i can't right now (becuase she's currently still at lunch with L) but it just made me want to cry and i jsut wanted to see what you all thought, i mean, i can tell you girls anything and i knwo that you all arent afraid to tell me exactly like it is.