Feeding Frenzy

i'm just incredibly happy today. not sure that i should be either, but i just am...like i'm on some kind of drug or something.

last week....not the best. like i said, i had SO much work to make up, i still haven't gotten completely back on track, but the majority of it had to be done last week. it was hell. Between that and L having 3 big tests, i didn't get to see him all week except for hanging out with him at a basketball game for 30 minutes before we both had to leave and study.

Then my roommate invited some mutual friends of ours down to school to stay with us for the harry potter premier. don't get me wrong, i like these girls and i'm friends with them, but Ashley (my roommate) is much closer to them. These girls are just like Ashley, really cool and sweet, but pretty boring...as in they never want to go out. I spent Thursday night with them, then Friday night I kinda ditched them (i feel a little bad about it but whatever) and went to dinner with L and some other guys we're friends with. Then i spent the night in his room, and Ashley and the other girls left to go back home early yesterday morning.

Since then, i've spent just about every second I can with L. We spent all day yesterday tailgating and going to the football game together, then i was supposed to go over to his room early last night and spend a bunch of time with him but I happened to get a call from CJ...

Frat boy (the guy she is dating) really upset her and she left and needed someone to talk to, so she came over to my room and cried until about 10:45. She's my best friend though, and i would do anything for her, so i didn't mind. Meanwhile, L went out with some friends then invited me to come over to his room at about midnight. Went over there, and we just sat in his room and drank a bunch of beer together. I know that sounds really lame, but seriously it was probably the best night i've ever spent with him. It was just so relaxing, and we had some really good conversation...deeper than we usually go.

We got on the subject of relationships though, and he was telling me that in his family, no one gets marred until like mid 30's at the earliest, and he said he felt the same way. We also both mentioned that we thought relationships and getting serious weren't good ideas at our age...which i kinda think is true, but i think i came off the wrong way and may have made it seem like i'm just fine with continuously hooking up with him and never dating...which isn't exactly what i was going for. I really WOULD like to date him, i just don't want a really intense/serious relationship. I still need some freedom. Unfortunately, i think he doesn't want a relationship at all, and now i don't know how to bring it back up again.

Then the beer kicked in for both of us. The kissing resumed...and KDSJBFOSIUEBGOWIBEGS did i miss it. I don't think i'll ever get tired of kissing him. Ever. Every single time i do, it's seriously like my first kiss all over again...exciting, wonderful, never wanting it to end...it went farther than kissing last night too (which isn't unusual for us) but it was a lot more intense this time. I don't need to go into very specific details about what went down, but dsofniefdkjfbs it was GOOOOOOOOD.

I just walked back from his room a little while ago. Just discovered that i have about 8 small hickeys on my neck. they're not huge, and i think i'll be able to cover them up with makeup and wearing my hair down, but i hope theyre gone by the time i go home for thanksgiving lol....oh well, they're completely worth it.

I have SO much work to do today. it's all due tomorrow. I only have 2 days of classes this week (for thanksgiving break) but i have a french presentation, a stats test that i'm going to fail, and a french test. i'm super stressed, but somehow i'm not letting it get to me. i think my high from last night just hasn't worn off yet.

My eating has been flipping back and forth between god awful and not so bad. i'll have days where i eat like there's no tomorrow, and days where i wont eat hardly anything. i'm probably confusing the shit out of my body. I don't feel HUGE today, but i don't feel skinny either. i still have a ton to lose. i'm getting there though.

ok, long post. i promise i'm going to try to post more often so that i don't have to write the NOVELS anymore. i hope you all are doing lovely, and looking lovely.