i did it.
somehow, even with the horrendous vacation eating and my lack of exercise, i woke up this morning to a lighter me. I stepped ont he scale this morning and saw 139. Ok, ok. So it was early this morning, i hadn't eaten or drank anything, i had jsut gone to the bathroom, i had no clthes on, and it's jsut 1 pound down from the 140 i had been seeing on my shitty scale, BUT it's a number that I (until so recently) had not seen at all. I haven't been down in the 130's in a year, and i am SO excited!
I haven't eaten hardly anyhting lately to get here though. I completely fast every day now for as long as i can (which is only until dinner) but then i eat a small portion of dinner and then nothing else the rest of the night. I'm guessing at most it's 600 cals a day. Whatever, if this is what i have to do to lose weight, i will.
Today i did fuck up a little though, i had some left over bruchetta and a granola bar, so maybe 250 calories already...but i went shopping today and walked a ton and i've done some crunches so i'm hoping i've burned some.
i have 3 1/2 weeks left until i move back in at school. I'm crazy excited to go back to school, i love it there, and all my friends, and i have 24/7 access to an awesome gym, but i know it will be harder to not gain weight. College=tons of free fattening food all the time, and people constantly asking you to go eat...roommates that will notice if you're not eating or if you're exercising to much...and alcohol. oh, the alcohol. i'm going to do my best to not drink so much this semester (tehre's no way i could even get close to my average of 3-4 nights a week my first semester last year) but i know that especially at the beginning, before classes have started or really kicked in and while the weather is still warm, theres going to be a shit ton of parties and i'm going to drink a shit ton of alcohol. i know that's why i gained the freshman 15 this year, and i'm just really dreading it. Plus, it's more stress that makes it harder to burn calories, less time to do whatever i want, and less time to blog. i'm kinda freaked to tell you the truth. I can't wait, but i'm so anxious too. i don't know, i need to stop worrying about it until it gets here. Until then, i'm just going to try to mentally prepare myself to NOT drink at parties, to opt for salad at most meals, to try to make a workout schedule and stick to it, and to just enjoy myself/concentrate more on school. hopefully.
My insomnia returned last night. That unexpected guest really overstay's it's welcome. I slept about an hour last night, and haven't slept today. I'm predicting a rerun of that show tonight too. we'll see.