sad face.

well, my horrible choices have finally caught up to me. I've been weighing myself for the past 2 days and the scale is at 128....so i've gained a pound. I know that's not terrible, but it's definitely a step in the WRONG direction. I blame the lake. I eat constantly while im there. Luckily (i guess....) that should be my last trip to the lake this year unless I can leave school and go down on labor day weekend. I don't look for that this year though; school is going to be way too crazy to leave.

My eating future doesn't look too bright for the next few weeks either if i'm being honest. Tomorrow the fam and I are heading to the state fair, where absolutely horrid amounts of calories and fat will be consumed. I'm guessing i'll probably eat roasted corn, a funnel cake, a lemonade shaker, and maybe a prkchop sandwich. AT LEAST. ughhh....I just cant help myself at the fair though. It's one of those few days a year where I absolutely will not limit what I eat. I only get to experience it one day a year, and i look forward to the food all year, so i'm not going to deprive myself of anything lol

Another one of those absolutely no limits days? My birthday. Which is coming up in about 2 weeks. It will be my first day of classes this year (happy freaking birthday to me...lol) so i'm going to celebrate with my parents early again this year. I love Italian food, so that's what i'll probably choose to eat. Lots of pasta with meet and TONS of cheese...lots of fattening sauce, multiple breadsticks, salad, cake.....

My grandma also wants to take me out to eat somewhere before I leave for school. This will probably end up at another italian restaurant. Looks like i wont be hitting 125 by my birthday after all....

honestly though, that's ok. I'm still very happy with where my weight is right now. I know I could still stand to lose a few pounds, but I dont look bad now. No one would ever look at me and think of me as overweight. I feel so much more confident, and that's a good feeling...as long as I can keep myself from gaining an inappropriate amount.

School should be better though...i hope at least. I'm starting my "graduate program" i guess you could call it, this year, and from what i hear, I can expect to have absolutely zero life outside of class and studying. Lots of stress=very little eating for me, because stress literally makes me sick to my stomach.

The only bad part is that CJ and I are rooming together this year. I'm really excited about that, but CJ doesn't watch what she eats at all. She's by no means FAT, but she's a little overweight. When we're eating together, it usually ends up in a "fuck it...i'm eating whatever I damn well please" kind of attitude. Plus, she loves to go out and party, and I always go along with her when I can. Her bf is in a fraternity, so tehre are a lot of party opportunities, and the guys that we partied with all the time during our freshman year are living in the same dorm as us again, so there should be a lot of drinking involved whenever possible. When we drink, we eat. That's how i gained so much weight freshman year after all....lots of drinking, lots of greasy foods the next morning to soak up the alcohol.

This should make for a pretty interesting combination this year...we'll see what side i end up choosing. Honestly though, if i were placing bets, I really don't look for me to gain that much this year. I'm a lot better at controling myself, watching my weight, and dragging my fat ass to the gym when it gets out of hand.

We shall see...