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Wednesday, January 26, 2011 beautiful

well hello there :)

just stopping by to drop a line or two about what's going on with me. A lot has changed since we last spoke.

well thats a lie actually. Just one major thing has changed: L and I are official. Yup. he asked me to be his girlfriend on saturday and it was one fo the best nights of my life. We went out to a party later that night though and i got wasted, as always. he stayed with me that night though, and somehow even managed to ENJOY my ridiculous drunken antics. ever since then, he cant stop telling me how perfect/beautiful/wonderful i am and how happy/excited/lucky i make him feel. I love it. He almost does it TOO much though. Constantly smiling around me's nice, but i dont feel like i'm quite up to that level of affection yet?

Anyway, this new stauts in my life has actually had some effect on my eating.
1) L lives on campus like I do, so he wants to eat lunch and dinner with me basically every day. this is new to me, because i was usually just on the 1 meal a day thing. Now it's definitely two.
2) Him telling me i'm beautiful so much and never saying anything bad about me gives me absolutely no motivation to work towards losing weight. I still want to, but then i say to myself "ehh, why waste all the energy? He still thinks you look good."
3) probably the only good thing about this, L wants me to teach him how to swim better, so 3 nights a week i go to the pool and do some laps while i give him a workout. I still dont work very hard though.

I refuse to weigh myself right now, as much as i want to. I feel lost in this weight loss process, i'm so conflicted with myself all of the time. BUT, i'm happy. So happy, so that covers it up...for now at least.

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