so today has started out to be a pretty good day. i went to church and got to work in the nursery with the babies, which made my day. i love children. i was planning to fast all day today but the little donuts they offer at church got to me, and i had two. they were small, but most likely terrible for me, and now i feel really bad for eating them. although i know setting out a breakfast platter of mini donuts and mini muffins is great, no one understands how much it affects me, and how much i am tempted by them. at least im at church and can pray to god to help me in my life. anyway i came home, and its almost 12:30 now, and those two little donuts were all ive had for the day, so im doing pretty well. im going to try not to eat anything for the rest of the day, but even though i dont eat much during the day, ive never really been able to fast completely. i hate that. ive done it before (not for purposes of losing weight) and i know how much weight i can lose just fasting for one day, but somehow im not strong enough to do it yet. ive created a blog with thinspiration pictures on it to help motivate myself and others, and i have to say, looking for pictures of skinny girls is a great way to keep your mind off eating. i dont want to eat anything at all today until at least 2:00 if im not strong enough to fast, so this blog is helping me stay distracted-its taking a lot more work than i thought to make it look good!
other than that, my sister is moving back to college, which is sad for me because i love her so much, but i know that i will be gone in about a week so it was coming either way. shes so beautiful and skinny, i wish i looked more like her. people say we look alike, but im so jealous of the fact that she barely weighs 115 lbs. her bmi is almost underweight while mine is almost overweight, and the worst part is she doesnt even try! shes not concerned about the way she looks at all, she eats what she wants, when she wants, doesnt exercise, and she still stays so small. its really not fair. i love my sister more than anything, and shes my best friend, but i cant help a little sibling rivalry every once in a while right?