I'm not gone.

I promise I'm not. I got my tonsils out on Tuesday, and from there, I have ceased to exist.

No, literally. I'm awake for maybe two hours a day. The pain meds knock me out, but I NEED them right now. I'm still in a ton of pain.

I pretty much haven't eaten since monday night though. Yeahh. Ok, well that's a lie, but nothing big. Ice mainly been drinking my calories in Gatorade, but really that's only about a bottle a day. Tuesday after surgery I had about 3/4 a Popsicle. Wednesday I had a spoonful of mashed potatoes and one Reese cup (separate, I promise!) yesterday I had a spoonful of potatoes, a chocolate ice cream bar, and about 4 bites of chicken salad.

Today I don't think I'm gonna eat much, if anything. I'm feeling worse. Through this starvation/dehydration though, I've lost a ton of weight and look super skinny...well for me anyway. The scale says 133 today, which actually means 137, but hey, I'll take it! That was my goal before the cruise! I did see it get to 131 on Wednesday, but that quickly disappeared when I strews drinking more fluids. Oh what I wouldn't give to see the 120's though! Even if just for a day, and even if I know my scale is not accurate by 4 lbs!

The doctor said it's normal for people to not eat for up to TWO WEEKS after the surgery, and that the main concern was just to drink as much as possible. Two weeks. Two weeks where I can literally starve and not have to hide it, not have anyone think twice about it?

Whenever I feel well enough I'm gonna post some pictures for you all. I actually do think I look a TON better. Oh, and when I slip back into consciousness/reality without staying high constantly, I'll update you with more from my life...L, school, family, etc. Love you ladies. Miss you!